Before I even start writing this post, I better make a confession: I am on social media all the time. I spend way too much time scrolling through Facebook on my phone and flipping through Instagram photos. Brian’s just as bad as I am, if not worse. We actually have to intentionally put down our phones and spend time together.
And we aren’t the only ones.
A few weeks ago we were Applebee’s the family in the booth next to use barely spoke to each other the whole time they were there. They were too busy staring at their phones. Parents will often come to the school where I work and eat lunch with their children, only to spend the whole time staring at their phone. And don’t even get me started on people waiting in line at the coffee shop or in a doctor’s waiting room. Everyone stares at their phones so they don’t have to talk to each other.
How much do we miss while we are staring at our phones?
I guess we’ll never know.
While I think social media can impact any relationship, today I want to talk about social media and marriage. Here are five ways that social media could be destroying your marriage without even realizing it.
Too Much Time on Social Media
This one is obvious. The more time that you spend on social media, the less time you are spending with your spouse. I know that you need time to unwind and relax, there is nothing wrong with that. However, you don’t need to check Facebook during family dinner. During date night you need to focus on the other person, not worry about what everyone else is sharing on social media.
Nothing good comes from comparison. My husband and I could be having a lovely weekend at home but then I see that so and so just went on another romantic getaway. Then I see that my friend just receive beautiful ‘just because’ flowers. Another girl’s husband just surprised her with a romantic dinner. Suddenly, I’m jealous and my lovely evening at home doesn’t seem good enough. Nothing good comes from comparison.
Your marriage is between you and your spouse. Don’t post every little detail of your marriage on social media. Don’t complain when you are arguing (if you need to vent call a friend instead!) or share every single thing that you are doing on social media. First of all, it’s a little immature. Secondly, it’s just not anyone else business what you are your husband are doing.
Painting Your Spouse in a Negative Light
My marriage is not perfect and my husband and I do fight occasionally, but you don’t get to hear about those things. I love my husband and I respect him. That’s why, no matter how angry he may make me, I won’t go on social media and put him down. In fact, if I see someone else put him down you better believe that I will stick up for him. Whenever you get on Facebook and complain about your spouse it’s saying that you don’t respect him and you don’t care what other’s think about him or for his feelings. Once something is online, it’s out there for everyone to see.
Social media makes it easy to connect with anyone in the whole world. There are good people are bad people online. It’s a sad reality, but many spouses are led to cheat after meeting someone online. Whenever it comes to this issue we need to protect our marriages in two ways. First of all, stay away from website and people online who you can’t trust. If someone is making you feel a little uncomfortable online, then tell your spouse. Honesty is best in all relationships. Secondly, if your spouse spends lots of time online, don’t let the fear that they may cheat on you destroy your marriage. If you are worried, talk to your spouse. Trust them and don’t push an issue that isn’t there. Talk to your spouse and consider making your online conversations available to each other. It’s up to you and your spouse where you draw the line when it comes to talking with people online.
Social media has changed our world in amazing ways. I love that I can jump on messenger and talk to my sisters at any time, even though they are hundreds of miles away! I love that I can quickly find a fun new recipe to try, check my bank account, order shoes, or even run my blog right from my little phone. It’s absolutely amazing what technology allows us to do! But there must also be limits. Don’t let social media destroy your marriage. Be aware of how much time you are spending online and where and remember to put the phone down and build real connections often.
How do you handle social media and your marriage? Do you think too much social media can hurt your marriage, or is it just a way to relax and have a little fun?