One of the fun things about marriage is always having someone to talk to. I love sitting down at dinner each night knowing that Brian and I will be able to talk about our day and reflect. I also love our late night talks and crazy road-trip conversations. Our words bring a lot of joy into our marriage. Of course the flip side of that is that our words can be used to tear each other down if we are not careful. We’ve experienced our share of arguments and hurt feelings this year.
And so I’ve learned a few things in my nearly 9 months of marriage.
I get that my marriage advice doesn’t mean much because I’m a newlywed, but I want to share it anyway, so here we go.
Once spoken, our words can never be taken back so I try to speak life to my husband and over our marriage as often as I can. If you aren’t familiar with the idea of speaking life into someone or something it’s like this: speak words to them that will build them up, encourage, and enrich their lives. Our words have meaning and worth and so I choose to use mine to speak life over my marriage.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” When we speak life over our loved ones we are investing in their lives and enriching our relationships. We will get out of our marriage what we put into it and so we must treat others with love.
Here are a few ways that you can speak life over your marriage:
I am proud of you because…
Tell your husband why you are proud of him. Whether something major has happened in his life or not, tell him that you are proud of him. Everyone needs to feel a sense of achievement and I think it is very important to tell your husband why you are proud of him often.
I love you because…
I tell my husband that I love him every day, but I like to also take a minute every now and then, to list all of the reasons that I love him. Try to think of little things that you noticed about you husband and just let him know why you love him. I love seeing a smile on Brian’s face when I do this.
How can I pray for you… – or – Let me pray for you…
Ephesians 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Pay attention to your marriage and the struggles and triumphs that your husband is going through. When troubles arise, pray with him and for him. A marriage is not meant to be between just your husband and yourself. God has a role in your marriage and so make prayer a part of your daily routine.
We all need a little encouragement now and then and as a wife you should be your husband’s biggest fan. Make sure he knows that you are! I know that my husband loves me and supports my dreams but I long for those words of affirmation every now and then. Speak life into your marriage by encouraging your husband to be the best version of himself.
I am thankful for you…
My life has been completely turned upside down since I met and married Brian. He has given me love, my own home, and he has become my family. I am so thankful for his presence in my life and I still find myself in awe of that fact that we are married! We are newlyweds and still in the honeymoon phase of marriage I guess, but I do think it is very important to tell your husband why you are thankful for him.
Your husband knows that you love him, but that doesn’t mean that you should stop saying these things to him. Your words are valuable. And how you use them does make a difference.
How do you speak life over your marriage and family? Do you see a difference in your family when you speak life over them?
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