Before Brian and I got married we talked about what we expected from our marriage and each other. We come from 2 very different families so naturally we made compromises about some things but we knew for sure that we wanted a Biblical marriage.
But what exactly does it mean to have a Biblical marriage?
Biblical marriage is a term that we throw around a lot but do we really understand what that means? Today we are going to attempt to break down what it actually means to have a Biblical marriage. This post is quite long but I think it’s good and I’ve had a lot of help breaking down what Biblical marriage is!
Christ is at the Center
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Mark 10:9
Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3
What it means: If you are a christian then Christ is the center of everything that you do. If Christ is the center of your life and the center of your husband’s life then Christ should also be at the center of your marriage. He is the solid ground on which you stand. Every decision is made in light of who Christ is. In a non-biblical marriage each and every decision is made in consideration of what is best for the family, but in a biblical marriage decisions are made with prayerful consideration of what it is be for Christ’s kingdom.
Biblical marriage is meant to exemplify Christ. It’s an example of Christ and His bride, the church. Christ loves us, forgives us, has grace upon grace with us.When we keep that in our minds in marriage we can’t help but love better. When we keep Christ as the center of our marriage we can’t help but think all the little day to day issues are silly. For me, I try to think about what my marriage will tell others about Christ. Is my marriage showing others that Christ is bitter and hateful, is it telling others that His love gets mad over petty drama. OR is it showing others than my Father is gracious and loving and kind? Keri of Little Light on a Hill
Love of Christ
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
What it means: The love that Christ has for us is the center of Christianity. I love my husband in ways that I cannot even explain with words, yet I know that the love that Christ has for me is deeper still. Christ’s love spurs sacrifice and forgiveness. I forgive my husband because Christ forgave me. Love covers over a multitude of sin and gives us our joy back. The love that we experience is a picture of how Christ loves His church.
Marriage wasn’t created for our happiness- it literally exists to be a living example of Christ’s love toward His bride, the church! When we keep a Godly perspective of our marriage, it’s so much easier to raise the grace and lower the unreasonable expectations- knowing that we have just as much to work on as our spouse does! Clarissa of Authentic Womanhood
Serving God Together
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:27-28
What it means: Whenever God created Adam He gave him a job to do. Adam was given dominion over all the Earth. He saw that Adam needed a helper and none of the animals were capable of giving Adam the help that he needed so God created Eve and gave her to Adam as a helper. God literally created woman to be man’s helper. In a Biblical marriage the husband and wife work together to serve God. God has called all Christians to be servants and marriage is no different.
Cord of Three
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
What it means: Whenever one person is alone they are weak. Add another person and they are stronger but can still be divided. Add God to the equation and you have a cord of three. A braid. A Biblical marriage is not just a union of two people. Whenever God becomes the third strand our marriage is strong and protected. God is willing to be present in our marriage and fight for us and that is a beautiful thing.
In Genesis 2, we are introduced to the 2nd creation story, meaning we are viewing it from a different perspective.We are introduced to Yahweh Elohim – Intimate covenant name of God. It is in the creation of man and woman that this term is first used. No longer viewing scripture from above, God comes down to an eye-to-eye perspective with his crown of creation. Karen of Karen Blandino
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross. Philippians 2:3-8
What it means: I think that every marriage takes sacrifice, Biblical or not. However it is in a Biblical marriage that we see a command to sacrifice for the good of our spouse, family, and God’s kingdom. By nature we are selfish and two selfish people living together can be a disaster. Therefore we are called to sacrifice our own desires for the good of others. This does not mean that we are to give up everything that we like and only focus on what makes other’s happy. It means that we put our spouse first and consider his needs to be more important than our own. I am learning to sacrifice for my husband each and every day and he does the same for me. Sacrifice stems from Christ’s love which is pure.
(You can read more about sacrifice here.)
Biblical marriage is the husband giving up his tendencies / desires to do the things he wants in the timing he decrees (with the natural delays that might otherwise ensue) in order to serve and love his wife out of reverence for Christ, while the wife gives up her tendencies / desires to command that things be done according to the brilliant schedule she has laid out (created wisely with a multitude of factors in mind) in order to respect and admire her husband out of reverence for Christ. Ideally, this is all done consciously with trust, discernment on both sides, and a grand dose of humor. Jennie of A Lady in France
Biblical Marriage is not 50/50 – it’s 100/100. Gwen of Ask Mommy Gwen
I believe that godly marriage allows us to see more clearly than ever how selfish we are, but it’s ok because we are with the person that can help us work through that. Kristin of The Peculiar Treasure
This always comes to mind even after 12 years of marriage: “Sweetheart, after you get married, you’ll learn that your husband isn’t perfect. But then you’ll find out you REALLY aren’t!” This marriage advice – some of the best I’ve ever received – came from a sweet 80-year-old widow in my church named Alice Wright. And boy, was she right! Julie of The Hallway Initiative
For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
What it means: In a Biblical marriage your hope is not in yourself, your spouse, or the situation surrounding you but in the belief that God is real and that He will take care of you. My husband has diabetes and caring for him is infinitely more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I have to trust God to take care of him everyday and trust God that someday there will be a cure. Whenever a situation is out of control Brian and I put our trust in God. Trusting God means praying and asking for help when the world says a situation is hopeless. Trusting in God is a comfort in Biblical marriage.
Having a biblical marriage has meant making some not so “easy” choices for our family and relationship and simply trusting God had it in His hands. It’s meant me submitting to my husband and him honoring me-even when we didn’t feel like it. And at the end of the day, to me, biblical marriage means Jesus at the center of every choice we make. Lauren Jane of Bellows in the Berkshires
Identity in Christ
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2
What it means: Being a Christian requires you to give up everything, even down to your own identity. I am not just a wife, I am a Christian wife. I am a picture of Christ to my husband. I find my identity by reading my Bible and listening to God’s guidance. I strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman as I work hard to please not only my family but my God. In a Biblical marriage others see Christ when they look at the husband and wife.
I am a work in progress and I will be a work in progress until I meet Jesus. I believe my husband is a work in progress and will be until he meets Jesus. Therefore, I believe our marriage is a work in progress and if we let it…it will prepare us for that glorious day. Stacy of Better Than Newlyweds
Biblical marriage is based on Christ’s sacrificial love, devotion, and grace. This is examplified through ongoing respect, support, encouragement, and mercy as husband and wife walk alongside each other through life. Christine of The Mom Cafe
A Picture of the Gospel
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:23,24,32
Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:7-9
What it means: Biblical marriage is not about a man and a woman who love each other. It is a picture of the gospel. Christ is the bridegroom and someday He will come to get His church and take them His Kingdom in Heaven. Biblical marriage was never meant to be about us, it has always been about pointing others to Christ and His love for His people.
They are a living, breathing, walking around picture of Christ and His Church. Beth of Listening to Him
A biblical marriage is between a man and a women- but it goes deeper then that a biblical marriage unites the couple to Jesus as he is the groom and the church is his bride. Alecia of Freed Through Love
What is Biblical Marriage?
Biblical Marriage is built of the foundation of Christ’s love, sacrifice, and guidance. It is not about me and my husband and our happiness. Every aspect of Biblical marriage points the world to Christ. Every trial is approached prayful consideration. Every day is sacrificed to bring others closer to God.
Now, whenever we look at this lengthy list of attributes Biblical marriage seems impossible. But the truth is that we will never be able to attain perfection and God knows that which is why He forgives us and gave us a husband to make the journey easier. Outside of salvation marriage is the greatest blessing in my life and I thank God for his blessings every day.
What else would you add to this list? What does Biblical Marriage mean to you?